


The remains of who we once were

by Aphroditedany



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Daenerys Targaryen Deserves Better, Daenerys Targaryen Lives, Dark Daenerys Targaryen, Other, Past Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, Queen Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of Essos Daenerys Targaryen, not stark friendly, targlings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphroditedany/pseuds/Aphroditedany
Summary: Jon travels to Essos to meet the result of his actions... and his fate.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	The remains of who we once were

He sails towards the unknown. He sails towards the woman he loves, the woman who has become the Empress of Essos and the Old Valyria and has made them flourish and prosper, while Westeros has fallen apart since her death.

_Since her assassination by your own hands._

Sighing, Jon takes his thin coat off. Even with thin clothes, he can't stand the warm, humid climate. After months on board, they are finally approaching the harbor of Meereen, in the Bay of Dragons. He's going to meet her, after 18 whole years.

He can't help but remember his last conversation with Bran. Or the Three Eyed Raven, or what has been left of his little brother.

* * *

_"I warn you for the last time, Jon. Don't go to Meereen. You're not welcome there, by anyone."_

_"And what else do you propose, Your Grace?" The title tastes bitter in his mouth. **She** should have been queen. Only she deserved the title. She had a vision, she had dreams, dreams that never came true. Dreams that none of his brother's incompetent advisors were capable, or worthy, of materializing._

_Westeros is nothing but crumbles of what it used to be. The North..._

_He shivers. He doesn't want to think of what became of the place he once considered home, or the woman he once considered a sister._

_"If you value your life, Jon, stay here. There is nothing for you in Essos."_

_"You're wrong. There is. The woman I love, our children. I need to see them, even if it will be the last thing I will do. I need to talk to them, explain."_

_"Explain them what? That you killed their mother in cold blood? That she didn't burn the city because she had gone mad, but because her advisors had poisoned her with basilisk blood, and thus she had been suffering from hallucinations? That, if you had waited a little longer and hadn't listened to Tyrion, you would have gotten the antidote with the raven I had sent in King's Landing? That you never cared to see how she was after the revelation of your parentage? Or that you didn't have enough time for her to discover she was carrying your twins?"_

_Tears flow from his eyes. He thought he had been immune to all the horrors that Daenerys had endured, but his pain is the same, even after all these years."I have to at least try. What do I have to lose?"_

_"She already knows the truth. We had been communicating for a while after her resurrection. Out of all the Starks, she trusts only me, and I'm not even one anymore. The only thing you would achieve would be to enrage her, or the twins. They are fiercely protective of their mother, you know. Especially your son, Aemon."_

_Jon flinches at the mention of Daenerys' mistrust towards anyone that bears the name Stark. "Does she... Does she have anything to do with Sansa, Tyrion and Sam's deaths? You implied she's ...changed."_

_"It's not my place to tell you what has happened. This is her own story to tell. Although I have to warn you, you won't like it."_

_He stays silent for some moments before taking his final desicion. "I will go, Bran. I have to. Besides, what's left for me here? I am hated by everyone. Even the Freefolk abandoned me after they learnt the truth. I have no home here. Perhaps I will find one in Essos."_

_He doesn't wait for a response, turning his back to Bran and leaving. Before he exits the Throne Room, he hears him whisper._

_"Farewell, Jon."_

* * *

They have barely arrived at the port, when he notices Grey Worm and about twenty Unsullied waiting for them. Grey Worm's eyes are filled with hatred, just like that day in King's Landing.

When he sets foot on the ground, they immediately seize all his weapons and enchain his wrists and ankles. Grabbing him by the arm, Grey Worm forces him to walk among the crowd.

"Welcome to Essos, _Your Grace._ " The sarcastic tone in his voice is hard to miss.

To his surprise, the crowd is quite big. Some people look at him with curiosity, but most of them with open contempt and disgust.

Someone shouts something in High Valyrian, it sounds malicious and full of rage. More follow his example and he sees some men are trying to reach him, swords in their hands.

Swallowing hard, he turns to Grey Worm. "What are they saying?"

"They call you Murderer of the Empress. They want you dead. They curse you and hope Empress wil burn you."

He hangs his head and doesn't utter another word until they reach the Great Pyramid.

* * *

The Throne Room was much warmer and more magestic that the Red Keep was in King's Landing. The abundance of gold items and jewels played with the sunlight, filling the room with all the colours of the rainbow. Gold, silver, diamonds in every colour, sapphires, rubies, emeralds, onyx, and many other precious stones he couldn't recognise. _All gifts for the Great Empress, it seems._

He had been long informed of Daenerys' conquering of Essos and the Renaissance of Old Valyria. She had barely given birth to the twins, but she decided not to live in the shadows or in fear. She took all of the liberated cities back, eliminating all the Slave Masters. She spared no one this time. She even liberated Volantis and Lys, with the Priests of R' Lhorr being her staunchest supporters. Kinvara, who had brought her back from the dead, had revealed to her that her late dragons had laid eggs before she left for Westeros. Daenerys hatched the eggs and now had 10 dragons in total, all blessed in tha name of the Lord of the Light along with her twins.

_Aemon and Daella, the one named after the former Maester and the other named after Daenerys herself and her mother Rhaella._

After she liberated Essos, Daenerys was hellbent on restoring Valyria to its former glory. Some called it miracle, others called it dragon magic, but Daenerys hadn't been killed by the fog surrounding Valyria, nor the water that was thought poisonous for strangers. Amongst the old ruins, there were still people, but afraid of the fog that covered their lands. Kinvara dissolved the magic that kept them prisoners and they welcomed the Targaryen Queen, the queen of their blood and flesh, with honors and gifts for her and her children.

The only city that Daenerys had left out of her plans was Braavos, but it was a free city anyway and it didn't matter to her. However, rumours wanted her to have spent two months in the House of White and Black, with the Leader of the Faceless Men. For what, no one could say with absolute certainty, and the Queen had become notorious for keeping her secrets well-hidden.

What had worried him the most, were the other rumours. The rumours that Daenerys had been actively involved in most of the murders of Lords of Westeros. Five years after her resurrection, Lords from the North had started dying mysteriously. A year later, Yara Greyjoy invaded the North with Daenerys' assistance. Her former aly had provided her with 5,000 armed men and ships, ships with the Targaryen sigil. Sansa was brutally murdered by Yara herself, flayed _"like your Bolton husband liked"._ Nothing was left of their ancestral home in Winterfell, Daenerys and Yara's soldiers had burnt it to the ground. At her tenth year of ruling, Tyrion, Sam and Ser Davos had travelled to Meereen, in a desperate attempt to convince Daenerys to help Westeros with a loan, tax reliefs or trading privileges.

Only Ser Davos had returned.

* * *

"The Queen, the Prince and the Princess of Essos!" Grey Worm announces proudly, taking Jon out of his musings.

"Well well, if it isn't the Targaryen pretender himself. Kinslayer, Childslayer, Queenslayer, Oathbreaker. Which title do you prefer, Aegon?"

Her appearance doesn't startle him as much as her voice and eyes do. 

Daenerys is more beautiful than ever. Her long hair is still in braids, but now she is wearing a white dress made of silk instead of the black dresses she had been wearing when he first met her all those years agao. Time has been kind to her, unlike him. She is looking regal and authoriative, and the golden crown adorned with rubies makes her even more etherial. 

What terrifies him, is her look. The soft look full of love and adoration she used to have when she looked at him is gone. There is no love, but there is no hate either. Her eyes, usually so full of fire and life, are _empty._ It's like if he is invisible to her. Like if he doesn't exist.

"Dany...", he murmurs, taking a step forward, but Grey Worm pushes him backwards with force.

"Dany died the day you killed her with your children in her womb. That's Queen Daenerys to you. You told me I'll always be your Queen, after all. Too bad you didn't see that promise through and bowed to your brother the moment he was crowned King."

"Please, let me explain. Bran told me the truth. About the poison and its effects. I know it wasn't you, Dan... Daenerys." He is aching to go close to her, to touch her, to fall to her feet and beg for forgiveness.

Judging by the look in her eyes, nothing of these matters anymore to her.

"How thoughtful of you. To care about my wellbeing after my death. Perhaps if you had waited for that raven, we wouldn't be here now. What exactly do you want, Jon? What do you want from me after all these years? Absolution? Forgiveness?"

Their son steps in front of his mother. He is the exact image of his mother, with short silver hair and indigo eyes. His own eyes are burning with hatred and anger, and he suspects he wouldn't terribly mind to end his life here and now.

"Don't bother wasting time with this filth, mother. Let me take his head. Let me end the wretched line of the Starks once and for all."

A bored voice sounds behind Aemon. _Daella._ Their daughter takes her place beside her mother, her long silver hair flowing down up to her waist and her purple eyes shining with the same disgust as her bother's. "Pff. All swords and spears, that's what you are brother dearest. Perhaps some dragonfire will properly cleanse his rotten soul."

Their words cut him like the knives of his sworn brothers at Castle Black. Even their features.

_Silver hair and purple eyes. They look nothing like me._

_Perhaps it's me who doesn't belong anywhere._

"Calm down, Aemon. You too, Daella. I won't allow you to stoop so low to his level. My children won't be Kinslayers." Slowly but resolutely, she descends the stairs until she stands in front of him. "I, on the other hand, have no such stupid moral qualms. Not anymore." A sick, evil smirk graces her lips, so different from her warm smiles and melodious laughter.

Jon gulps and tries to compose himself. "I only came here to apologise. I know very well that a simple apology won't solve anything, but I want to live with my family. My real family. I want to know my children, to make up for the lost time. This is all I wish. I didn't come here to harm you. I won't do it again."

"How gracious of you, to remember us after everyone shunned you and threw you aside like dirt on their shoes. Perhaps, if you had remembered I was your family all those years ago, we would be in a very different situation now. If you hadn't thrown me away like a cheap whore, if you had forced your will upon the Northerners to respect me as an ally, if you had kept your sister in check..." She narrows her eyes. "If you had been able to keep your mouth shut like your precious Ned Stark had done for all his life, perhaps no one would have conspired against me. Varys wouldn't have poisoned me, I wouldn't have gone mad and I wouldn't have burnt all those innocent people. But I guess being a Targaryen was too much for you to bear. You were obviously so ecstatic, that you couldn't wait to reveal the secret. And reveal it to the sister you knew that hated me even more that Cercei, despite I had done nothing to her."

He is angry now, too. "Do you think you were perfect? Why didn't you try to support me after I had my entire world crushed? The only thing you cared was your claim to the Throne!"

She laughs, but it sounds fake. "Really? Do you want to hold that only mistake I did against all those fatal mistakes you did that led to my death? Alright, let's see. Yes, I cared for my claim. I cared, because that throne had been my childhood dream. The only semblance of home I had, was Westeros, apart from the house in Braavos. The promise that I could return to the land I was born, someday. And here you stood, ready to destroy everything just because Rheagar deciced to abduct your mother and she had been stupid enough to open her legs to _the married Crown Prince of Westeros._ They destroyed our families and hundreds of thousands of lives, and yet you accuse me of feeling insecure about your parentage? For feeling insecure and scared for what I was certain that would follow? Or am I to blame for your sister's dishonesty and oathbreaking as well?"

He lowers his head, but he dares to look at her again. "Sansa... She was killed by Yara. Are all those rumours true? That you killed all the Northern Lords that had opposed you and helped destroy Winterfell? Tyrion and Sam as well?"

Something evil glints in her eyes. Her voice is low, but it feels like she is screaming the words that come out of her mouth. "You know, after you killed me and my children's birth, I vowed to myself I would never let anyone else take advantage of me again. **_Yes._** I gave Yara armies and ships so she could destroy your precious Winterfell. Yes, I ordered her to kill Sansa with that method. Yes, I ordered Kinvara to poison every Lord of the North that spit on me, insulted me, looked at me like if I were their worst enemy. Yes, I executed Tyrion and Sam as long as they set foot on my shores. Drogon really enjoyed burning them, I must say. Seems that my child knew what kind of scum they both were."

He can't take it. All these deaths, Winterfell destroyed... She has really done it, and she doesn't show an ounce of regret. His legs are ready to give out, but Grey Worm has him grabbed by the arm and doesn't let him.

"Do you want to know the funniest part? I felt free. I had had Tyrion all the time above my head, telling me how it was wrong to kill innocents. And it was. It is. I still haven't forgiven myself about that day in King's Landing. I didn't enjoy hearing all those screams, the desperate cries for help. I have nightmares and probably will have for the rest of my life. But Sansa? Tyrion and Sam? The Lords? I had heard when I was little that when someone treats you like an enemy or a villain, believe them. From the moment I embraced it, I stopped caring for what advisors and Lords and Kings would say. I vowed I would never kill innocents again, but I have no qualms about killing my enemies. Your dear Sansa, Tyrion and Sam made it clear I am their enemy. It was their choice. Their decision. Not mine. So I treated them as enemies. I showed no mercy. For the first time in my life, I felt good with being ruthless. I relished in Tyrion and Sam's screams as Drogon burnt them. I had been laughing for days after Yara sent me that letter, describing how she killed Sansa. And of course, Arya."

What little hope has been left in him of finding the woman he loves disappears. "Arya?", he croaks. "But... But how? She had said she would leave to explore the world."

"And she did. But two weeks earlier, she had the marvelous idea to come in Meereen disguised and kill me and your children for what we did to her North. Suffice to say, I was well prepared this time. In fact, she is here. Would you like to greet your dear sister?"

Aemon and Daella exchange smiles full of malice and give some orders in High Valyrian. After a while, two servants come with a wooden box and open it. He doesn't understand at first, but when Daenerys takes a large crystal bowl from the box, a piercing scream leaves his mouth.

Inside the crystal bowl, filled with a clear liquid, there is Arya's severed head. The eyes are still open, the mouth shaped in an O.

Jon falls to the ground,sobbing for his sister. Between his screams and sobs, he hears Daenerys, Grey Worm, Aemon and Daella's sick laughters, as Arya's head keeps looking straight at him.

_What have I done? What have we done?_

"Needless to say, I got my revenge from Westeros. My only abeyance left is you, Jon Snow. It didn't go unnoticed to me that, even though the punishment for Queenslaying and Kinslaying is execution, no one killed you for what you did to us. Instead, they exiled you to a useless Wall, that had no purpose to serve anymore. As your Queen, I, Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Protector of Essos and Valyria, sentence you to death. In order to defend yourself, I will give you the option to fight with my champion if you so wish."

He is in a daze, he is barely understanding the words that come out of her mouth, but he nods his head in agreement.

"Very well. Grey Worm, bring our honoured guest to the Daznak's Pit."

* * *

The deserted pit where gladiators used to fight has an eerie feeling. Looking around, Jon realises there are charred corpses all around. Some of them are nothing but bones, but others seem freshly burnt. 

A sense of dread fills him. _Do her dragons live here?_

Grey Worm gives him a Valyrian Steel sword and he tries his best to recompose and get ready for the fight. Alas, no one appears. Daenerys shouts some words in High Valyrian and after some seconds, Drogon lands in the pit, puffing smoke through his nostrils and looking more menacing than ever.

Daenerys smiles coldly at him. "My champion is fire."

The dragon approaches him with loud roars, rage burning in his red eyes. He hasn't forgiven, or forgotten what he did to his Mother.

Jon drops the sword. He knows it's a useless fight. He can't hope to injure Drogon, and sooner or later he will be engulfed by his flames. Instead, he closes his eyes.

* * *

_Daenerys looks flushed from the cold, but happier than he has seen her so far. "It's so beautiful up here. We could stay here forever, you know. After it all ends. We could be just Daenerys and Jon, here, next to the waterfall. No one would ever find us."_

_"Just Daenerys and Jon?", he teases "I gave you a promise to prove the witch wrong. And how could we be together? I am a Snow. I have no name."_

_"I don't care. Maybe I can be Daenerys Snow as well. Or I can legitimise you. Cloak you under my house's sigil. Jon Targaryen. How does that sound?"_

_A lump forms in his throat at the woman's love and kindness. Gods, he loves her so much... He would leave everything behind for her, he would die for her._

_"Whatever makes you happy, Dany.", he murmurs as he gently lifts her chin to steal a kiss._

* * *

When he opens his eyes, Drogon in standing only a breath away from him. He knows these will be his last moments.

"We should have stayed at the waterfall. No one would ever find us. We would have our little house with a red door. I would take a job somewhere, and you would stay in home with our kids. At nights, we would all gather close to the fireplace. We would tell our children stories of the great Targaryen dynasty. I would find them a direwolf, and maybe you could have taken the eggs with Kinvara's help. We would be happy forever. And we would die in each other's arms in a warm summer day."

Something that reminds him his old Dany passes through her eyes. Something soft, and innocent, and hopeful and loving. It only lasts some seconds before her mask of indifference conceals her feelings.

"A beautiful dream. A dream you never shared with me. A dream you destroyed."

Drogon opens his mouth, fire forming in the back of his throat.

He closes his eyes once again.

_"Dracarys"._


End file.
